Recently I read a blog post titled “With Lupus, Holidays Are a Balance Between What I Want to Do and What I Can Do.” Having lupus myself, I could relate to the title. The holidays present so many beautiful opportunities. Lupus keeps me from doing all I want to do. It requires me to accept my limitations and make choices about what I can do with the goal of maintaining optimal health.

We all have limitations. Especially when it comes to the holidays, we all must choose between what we want to do and what we can do. Trying to do it all is not possible for any of us. As coaches, we know that setting boundaries and making choices that best support our health is part of practicing life balance.

Tips for Balancing the Holidays:

1. Pray and ask what God has in mind for your holidays. God doesn’t have planned an event schedule that would threaten your health and steal your focus. What God has in mind for you is unique and no one can tell you what that is but God.
2. Ask what is God’s vision for your unique holiday season. If you identify the vision, then ask yourself what needs to happen for you to participate with God in making that happen.
3. Be intentional about pursuing God’s vision for your holidays. It can be challenging. You will have to set boundaries, but this approach to planning your holidays will make clear your yeses and your nos.
4. Stay committed to God’s plan for your unique holidays and take one step at a time. God bless you as you maintain that commitment and experience the fullness of the vision God has planned for you!

Professionally trained coaches know there are three phases to a coaching conversation.

Each coach training program has their own chosen labels for these phases. Although the phases are not meant to be a strictly liner process, they do define a coaching conversation that follows what is within the industry commonly referred to as the coaching process. This conversation structure is included in the common industry phrase “trust the process.”

The first phase involves working with the client to set an agreement or agenda for the conversation. From there the conversation moves to exploring and evoking new awareness with the client. Finally, the coach supports the client to design meaningful action for themselves.

Establishing a clear agreement is essential. The second and third phase depend on the first. A clear agreement sets the foundation for a conversation that will reveal new awareness and determine meaningful action. Facilitating a clear agenda for the conversation is a professional skill to be learned and honed.

Here are some tips.

1. 1. 1. Agreement starts at the beginning of the relationship. From the beginning as you initially meet with a potential client for an inquiry conversation make sure they know you will be looking to them to set the agenda for the coaching relationship and conversations. You will not be telling them what to work on. Rather, you will be asking them what they want to focus on or what they need to address.
      2. Using session prep forms with your clients can help them think through in advance what they want to work on in the session. This is the purpose of prep forms, as they are not meant for you to use as a guide for coaching the session. Let the client use the prep form to formulate their agenda for the session and then be in the moment with the client as you coach in the session.
      3. Of course, sometimes clients come to a conversation with a swirl of ideas and no focus. First, honor them by being present in the moment with them. Listen. Acknowledge (“you’ve got a lot on your mind”). Then ask something like “Of all that’s on your mind today, what will make the biggest difference for you to address in this conversation?”
      4. Sometimes at the beginning of a coaching conversation when we ask our clients what they would like coaching on they say, “I don’t know.” Typically they expand and say more than “I don’t know,” so again begin by being present with and listening to and acknowledging where the client is in the moment. Then ask your version of “What is your biggest challenge right now?”

ICF Core Competencies most specifically addressed in this post include:

• CC 3 Establishing and Maintaining Agreements
• CC 5 Maintaining Presence
• CC 6 Listening Actively
• CC 7 Evoking Awareness
• CC 8 Facilitating Action

Traditionally coaches have worked as solo entrepreneurs. We’ve worked virtually and often in isolation in our home offices. Isolation can make us susceptible to discouragement and low self-confidence. Human connection is a basic need that must be addressed in our self-care.

Whether in person or virtual, we can never rely on our clients as our primary source of human work connection. Using clients as self-care, to fulfill our need for human connection, isn’t healthy or ethical.

We need work connections that go beyond professional exchanges of information and services.  We need other coaches.

While connecting in person is preferrable, we all learned during the pandemic that when it is not possible, live video connection is the next best thing. For many coaches this may be the only option for connecting with other coaches due to living in areas where there are no other coaches to connect with in person.

For your own health and wellbeing and for your own greater success as a coach, connect with other coaches!

Also. Hey introverts like me. This means you too!

Where to make connections with other coaches:

ICF – International Coaching Federation – Search the directory to find other coaches in your area. Connect with your local ICF chapter for virtual and in person events.

 CCNI – Christian Coaches Network International – Search the directory to find other coaches in your area. Connect with virtual events.

 Your coach education program – Check with your coaching education program. Who else from your program is located in your area?

Shared community office space – To further combat isolation, consider moving out of your home office into a shared office space. This may not connect you with other coaches, but it could connect you with other solo entrepreneurs who also need to combat isolation.